On friendships, ending

I did not think that I would devote time to this on my blog but recently it has been, yeah, pissing me off.

I have this friend, or more so I used to have this friend. Our parents knew each others from the Pentacostal Congreations they where part of but my parents had left. My friends aunt and my mother are best friends, right now hiking in the hills, I hope they're having a good time.
Anyhow, we became friends in middle school. I am not sure how it happened, I guess I broke away from click from kindergarden and then I was seated with this person and one of the funniest boys I have ever know, Robin, they made the otherwise horrendous time in middle school okay.

Then we where BFF's until I moved away for the IBO programme and kept up our realtionship through out that time and up to this year.

You see, now this person is totally ignoring me. She won't replie to my congratulations on her engament on Facebook or answer any of my messages for her, even though I see she replies to others. I have send her multiple texts and emails and have gotten nothing back.

I think this is really odd since I see such a clear cut between being friends and then not being that all. Or more so acting like we have never been. There hasn't been a conflict or an issue between us, she hasn't been angry with me, neither I with her.

Having traced this down with my mother I have comed to the conclusion that this person clearly has a promblem with what I have 'becomed', she has not said, it that's, true but I feel it.
I have felt it over the last couple of years, I know I have kept silent and I haven't spoken up about the real me. I couldn't spread my wings inside that heterosexual monogamus cage. And I am sure they knew. In fact they were the first people the assume that I were, or would be a lesbian.
Please people, I am not a lesbian unless I say I am, okay!!

Recently I have been ticked off by people deciding for me, telling me what I am or not listening to me when I say I dislike certain kinds of identies that they ascribe to me. It's been trickling down on me, nibbling on my stamina and making me warry. Please when I tell you about something I don't like, don't say it's "nothing" only nothing is nothing.

To return to the initial subject. I understand that this person and the kind of click that she, and I used to, belongs to are having a hard time to wrap their minds around me these days. It's not that I don't get that. And I would rather not have them in my life if they are not accepting of they way I will lead it.
However I would like for her to speak up about that, to say that she cannot realte to what I am doing right now, and then we can have a discussion about that. I want her to say "Hi!" at least or "thank you for your kind words concerning mine engament..."

For now I mourn something that we once had. But it is also somewhat of a double nature, I mourn having her in my life, yet I know I was not all I could have been then.
I am sad it had to come to this. But I do know that if she won't accept me they way I am , that is no friendship.

For my very real and caring friends.
Here is a verse from the ever so lovely Tim Eriksen's song "Friendship" from his newest album "Every sound below" (I am obessed with that man)


Friendship to every willing mind opens a heavinly treasure
There may the sons of sorrow of find sources of real pleasure

Thank you!